I certainly had other plans today.
I was lying in bed this morning, slowly waking up,
waiting for my hubby to finish in the bathroom so we could
talk about our day , when I picked up a book that I'd slowly started
reading since receiving it from my friend "Amazon".
To be honest I wasn't real excited to read it. I'd been reading NieNie's
blog since she came home from the hospital following a horrific crash
that would change her life forever. I'd watched interviews
she'd given, read newspaper articles and I thought I knew it all, why
read the book. But, I felt drawn.
I planned to read a few pages this morning but instead lay flat on my
back reading and crying for five straight hours. I knew the crying
was cathartic. I kept saying to myself, "well, I'll put it down
get a few things done and then come back to it." I couldn't. Literally.
Now as I sit here freshly showered, mask on my face, swollen
eyes, I feel the need to share the things I've felt.
Remember my blog is for my family, uppermost. I will make this
into a book that someday someone might read and learn to know me alittle
As I read and felt the pain and anguish Stephanie was living it brought me back to the trials I'd been through , what I think I'm
trying to say is that for the first time in my life I can see reason in
it all and none of it matters except one thing.
And that one thing is that it hasn't changed my heart . That no matter what
happens to me my heart will always stay the same,.......I won't let
anything change my heart. My love for my Heavenly Father, my love for my children and grandchildren, my love for my husband.
A year to the day of Stephanie's accident she got to meet and speak to a great man in our church who she had always loved and admired. (I love him too, he always talks of hope) He told her something I'll always remember as she does..........."Your scars are the miracle".....
We all have scars inside and out and they are the miracle,
and they will change our hearts only if we let them.
And I do believe Heaven is Here. One day in April when family was
gathered and little ones ran in the yard my husband said
"And this is what the celestial kingdom will be like." I agreed and
silently said a pray of thankgiving.